today is yet another disappointment for me, but it guess i'm alright already.
i have got some problems with my laptop which i dunno how to solve...and it is really maddening...
sometimes, bad things come in a chain, and may not even stop unless the worst in the chain comes.
recently i'm getting touchy and may just flare up easily.
when things dun go your way, you get irritated and for me, i'm more bad tempered, so the effect is definitely more...
you may seem to be surrounded by people whom you claimed to be close with, but in the end, when the dark sets in, everything is gone and exposed. finally, at the end of the day, you will still be alone facing everything yourself. fighting to be strong, fighting to be steady, fighting to be back to the real you.

i hate the feeling to be alone...
hate it...as it just fill me with fear...
last night there was a blakout at home and i was all alone in the dark. it was already nine plus, so outside was dark and i was freaked out initially...luckily there was light outside my house, so i just stood there at the door to call my parents. parents not at home, brother overseas...that feeling yesterday when the light went off was really devastating. because i know, even if i cried, no one will come for me...i can only depend on myself, feel around for my phone and switch on the flash light. only then can i see somethings around me, and only then i got a little calmer.

i wasn't daring at all...i'm just a timid little weakling...

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